Travelling Solo with a Chronic Illness
Travelling solo had become a part of my life, identity and had a huge impact on who I am today. I had a scratching map I would look forward to scratching off and everyday I woke up I would dream about the next country I would tick off.
In my previous life I was often asked where I would be travelling next and what my previous adventure was like. I mean I had been keeping a travel blog and sharing images on Instagram. So I don’t blame people for asking me. But when I became sick, it became a trigger. I didn’t recognise myself in the mirror, nor did I feel like I could relate to the life I had lived. Me? Getting on a plane to visit another timezone, Shehla, who was having trouble walking. I'm the same girl who travelled to Antarctica, the one who was randomly dropping on the floor and had no control over her symptoms. It became a distant dream and a wish in some respects that I would travel again, and not just to A&E.
After my mental health deteriorated I received so much unsolicited advice about how I should remain positive. My life looked perfect granted on social media. A picture of a glacier, an ice-berg, a sunset, a sunrise, you get the picture right. I couldn't look at those images again, especially the reminders my phone kindly showed.
2 years ago a picture of a beach
5 years ago a hiking summit
6 years ago backpacking for 5 months
Whenever someone would say well at least you travelled when you did, my response, I wish I hadn’t. A whole other stuff happened and well I began to accept that my life had changed. I was able to go to local places then I ventured out of the city and worked out how many spoons (energy) it took out of me, and how long it took to recover. I cried after my first trip solo out of the city. I was overwhelmed that I could go out again and there was a glimmer of hope. I still hadn’t ventured to The Peak District solo. The thought of dropping there and no one being able to find me terrified me. I was unsure about how to travel abroad again, I wouldn’t be taking my backpack, my body wouldn’t be able to handle it. Did I still have a passport? I remembered renewing it and it was empty, I guess this was a fresh start. I looked online for flights and thought what could I enjoy, what was doable and where could I be comfortable again. Switzerland it was.
Image Credit: The Australian Photographer I met sorry I didn’t catch your name.
I searched for flights, I chose one that would be early morning, usual airport and then searched for accommodation, check. Now what did I actually want to do whilst I was there, was simply setting foot there enough? I booked a day trip a day after my arrival to visit glaciers and a lake. The remaining days I wanted to keep free for roaming, resting and absorbing where I was. I was still working on being present. Once I made it to Switzerland and to my accommodation I was indeed exhausted from a two hour flight. My journey had begun at 3am and I was yawning and cold. I chose to visit somewhere cold and nearby but I was indeed grateful that I had travelled again. I was exhausted throughout the trip and at times the adrenaline took over. I knew it would also take time to recover when I returned, and it did. But I now know that I can travel again, solo, with long-term conditions.
Written by: Shehla Ali